Friday, June 12, 2015

Makeup Favorites


Am I the only one OBSESSED with beauty Youtubers? I have gotten so many idea and recommendations from their channels. Here is a list of my go-to makeup. 

1. Too Faced Beauty Balm. I find it SO hard to find a base that matches my pastiness. I have a serious red undertone and it's not cute. I can't stand makeup that doesn't match my skin. I blend and blend and bleeping blend.... still looks ghostly or orange or makes me look old. This Beauty Balm is awesome. I apply first with a Beauty Blender and then build in a little with a stippling brush on the areas that need a bit more coverage.

2. Too Faced Milk Chocolate Bronzer. First of all IT SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE. It's also a great light bronzer for my fair skin. It blends well and gives a subtle glow.

3. Physicians Formula Blush. Perfect flush of color. Affordably priced. Holla.

4. Urban Decay After Dark Eye Pencil in Voodoo. Makes those green eyes POP.

5. Urban Decay Naked Three Palette. I love a nude eye with a bit of sparkle.

6. Benefit Brow Zings. Just takes a minute to fill in the brows and pulls the whole look together.

7. Clinique Naturally Glossy Mascara. I have lash extensions right now but otherwise this is my day to day mascara. It's great for daytime and easy to build for nighttime.

And I refuse to link all this. Just checkout Sephora or Ulta.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

This little girl is my spirit animal

She's so happy and so in tune with the elephant and in a pure state of bliss. Elephants are very emotional animals. They will reach their long trunks out to save a drowning dog in the river, they cry when their loved ones die, and from the looks of things they love with their whole hearts. One of my goals for 2015 is to remember this little girl and this elephant. To remember that happiness is a choice and that peace and harmony are the results of that choice.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Do you suck at blogging?

I love lifestyle, style, DIY, travel and even some mommy blogs. Basically - A few years ago I stumbled on one while browsing pinterest and I have been HOOKED ever since. I'd say it's right up there with my magazine addiction which currently has me at least 15 subscriptions per month.

Why is it when we love something we think maybe we can do it?

Example - Dancing.

Watching step up made me want to dance my ass off.

Only problem? I can't find the beat to save my life!

Maybe it's the same thing with blogging? Just wanting to doesn't make you good at it.

Here are the reasons I'm pretty sure I suck at blogging.

1. No set schedule for posts. The vets in this "business" are pretty hard core. 5 days of week of kick ass posts. Even when there posts are about nothing... somehow they resonate with me. But 20 hours a week spent blogging? No thank you. I'll be over here snuggling with the pup, hanging with my man or sleeping.

2. NOOOOOooooooo selfies. I loathe having my photo taken. It's just not my style #sorrynotsorry
Pictures are an improtant part of a blog. They give your blog some asthetic pleasure and they keep your readers engaged in your story.... Don't mind me I'm just over here on PicMonkey trying to make a graphic that will catch your attention and doesn't include my face.

3. My life just isn't all that exciting. I do cool stuff from time to time. Vaca to Italy last year, been a couple of cruises, hoping to drag the boy to Mexico for a week next year but the pros are doing cool stuff every other week. Props to them (can I jump in your suitcase?) but my bank account is more like... girl get your ass to work!

4.  I'm not in love with social media. Don't get me wrong, I get my facebook and instagram stalking on but I don't post a ton of my own stuff.  I'm not that into twitter or foursquare or whatever else the kids are into these days (channeling my grandma on that one).

5. The thought of hosting a giveaway or link up makes me want to vom. I mean I'm totally down with participating in these and I think they are great ways for bloggers to connect and gain new followers. But it has to be a lot of work to put all that together and frankly #idontwanna. It's like a party. Your ass definitely ain't coming to my house but if you want to host I'm happy to bring some chips and salsa.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

What to Expect When You are NOT Expecting... Like Ever

Everyone asking you when you are going to have a baby.

Making that face when you tell them it just isn't in the cards for you.

Wondering who will take care of you when you're old if the hubs kicks the bucket before you...

Wondering if you are missing out.

And finally realizing, your life doesn't have to look like everyone else's.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

No I will NOT make out with you

If you do the weird pinball clicker thing with your tongue. No one wants you to shove your tongue in their mouths and then move it quickly from one side to the other. We're not in middle school anymore.

You have super big lips. My lips are small and I don't need your ginormous smacker eating my face off.

You don't brush your teeth on the regular.

You have really itchy facial hair. Let it grow out and get soft or shave shave shave. And no mustaches. Ever.

I'm not dating you. Making out with a bunch of randoms grosses me out.

Two words.... canker sore

And now for the most adorable movie kiss of all time.....

Friday, May 30, 2014

How to Lose a Guy in 3 Dates

  1. Tell him how crazy you went when your ex broke things off. Nothing like reminicing about your time in the clink and who doesn't appreciate the ability to create a shank from poor quality toilet paper? #lockedup
  2. Insist that he tell you which Housewives franchise is his favorite and why. 
  3. Force him to choose between Angelina and Jen
  4. Tell him how much you hate your job and you can't wait to be a stay at home wife. No kids though. You plan to fill your days by caring for your 3 cats, 2 dogs, and lionhead bunny.
  5. Fart.... loudly....  Bonus points if you lift your leg 
  6. Tell him how you like to use foot powder under your boobs to prevent chafing. Be sure to mention that you also spread some on your butt because you like the tingle of eucalyptus. 
  7. Ask for his credit card number so you can book a Groupon Getaway to celebrate your one month anniversary. 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I hate it when....

My work computer won't let me get on certain blogs..... damn you categorization unknown error

When others aren't genuinely happy for your accomplishments
People discuss politics..... please dear God just stop. Now obviously tragedies should not be ignored but when you just want to bitch for the sake of bitching I want to high five you in the face with a chair.
Try to tell me "those crazy wrap things" did this...
I'm not saying that they may not help you lose inches temporarily. I am saying that even 3 months of those wraps are not going to make you lost 15lbs (my estimate from this picture). Maybe if you eat well and exercise you could get results like that but I call total bullshit on this entire marketing strategy. It's shady.
This is not in response to Raven's posts where she clearly says she is eating and exercising correctly. I have a facebook friend who posts this crap six times a day implying that they are miracle workers when they so very clearly ARE NOT.
Finish this sentence.... I hate it when....