Monday, April 21, 2014

My sobriety

I used to be addicted. Maybe not the kind of addiction you might expect. I have never needed a drink or abused drugs. I was addicted to something that was very bad for me. Someone who was very bad for me. Not because he was a bad person but because we didn't bring out good things in one another.

Most people will admit that they have been in a not so great relationship. Maybe a relationship they stayed in way too long. So when did my relationship go from not so great to a life altering destructive path?

It's hard to know the exact second it happened.... the first time I was afraid to be who I really was with him. The first time I knew that the problems were entirely unfixable and yet I could not bring myself to leave. The second I started believing, in my core, that I would never be good enough for him. And I needed to be with him. Desperately.

 I didn't know that the crumbs he gave me were far less than I deserved.

Seeing him today, after three years of growth, forgiveness and sobriety....

I realized that crumbs were all he had to give.

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